Pic source: philippitrust.co.za “Are you your own worst enemy?”
Hello Friend,
For so long I struggled with this. I struggled and triumphed alternatingly for years. It was the very up and down of that slippery cycle that was the source of great anxiety; so much so that being upset about being upset was the norm for me.
Why this was is not the subject of this post. WHAT it was is.
What is going on in your life and how you approach each day… and how could that be responsible for you not being where you want to be? If this sensation comes and goes and has been happening for some time, read the following with an open mind and ready heart.
When a personal cycle develops it’s easy to get sucked in and lose your sense of objectivity. Often, people are so immersed in their own life that they lose perspective of the details of causality and the big picture as well (like the trees in the forest).
If you are not where you want to be could it be that you are UNAWARE of how you are sabotaging yourself? And if you are unaware, even this question may not turn on any lights, immediately.
How sabotage? Think about the various ways that you get sidetracked, taken off course or filled with doubt and fear…when do these things happen and how responsible are you for them happening? Are there any patterns with when these things happen?
Why sabotage? We sabotage our self for a slew of reasons; usually connected to what our core issues are around such things as: self-worth, fear of criticism, productivity, fear of success/failure, forgiveness, fear of change and a loss of control, self-discipline, joy and prosperity. While answering this question at the ‘root causes’ level is important and can help with stopping the cycle, I suggest you not get stuck here, thinking on it. Getting stuck in the “why” is a very clever way of sabotage as well. I mean after all, it is important right? Of course it is, but we clever, bruised souls find creative ways of not moving forward. So…yes, deal with your “whys” and satisfy your curiosity and need for profound connections but please keep it moving as you do so.
When sabotage? We tend to step in and stir things up when things are uncomfortably getting better. Some part of our self has not fully healed and sabotage is a way of slowing the process so we can experience more of what has become our natural or “normal” state of being; which sadly, is often a place of anxiety, self-doubt and sometimes constant activity. Life feeling different (often how ‘better’ feels) is scary and unsettling. We may not feel we can handle a change, or success or certain kinds of experiences. So we throw a little monkey wrench in things to keep them “normal” longer.
What does sabotage look like? Very familiar. Very comfortable. Very reasonable looking sometimes and obviously erratic other times. We tend to be very capable of rationalizing the erratic away. We tend to want to comfort our self in a manner we have grown accustomed to like, eating certain foods, cuddling into certain movies, books or people and engaging in certain activities. Essentially, we want things to feel more manageable, comfortable and under our control.
What to do? Try the following 5 steps each and any time you have an urge to stray from a path you KNOW is right or better for you.
1) BE AWARE… become aware AHEAD of TIME of what your sabotage tricks are. Be familiar with your list of creative methods of switching lanes – from your chosen path to a better life to the same old cycle of fear driven thoughts and emotions. KNOW those thoughts and what triggers them and be prepared to…STOP.
2) STOP and reflect on what is happening at present…name it and call it what it is. “I seem to be about to engage in some sabotaging behavior.” NO judgment, no drama, just admit what appears to be happening.
3) AFFIRM… decide ahead of time what your statement of affirmation will be at this time. Whatever it is let it be a powerful statement of intention. Something like “I WILL NOT be swayed from my path to ___________(whatever you are headed towards)” or “ I AM in charge of my actions, emotions and thoughts and I CHOOSE joy (or ‘to be productive right now’ or “actions of love” or “to stay on my path”…) Know what your powerful affirmation is ahead of time and BE PREPARED!
4) BE STILL… take a 30 second time out and pray, meditate, imagine… about/for whatever it is you are seeking. See yourself where you wish to be. In your stillness, BREATHE deeply and slowly.
5) STAY IN MOTION… and complete the task at hand. There is no qualifying here…you simply must complete what you are in the midst of when the urge to sabotage hits because completion is the only response that will weaken the power of self-sabotage. Anything else empowers that aspect of yourself and you will continue and even strengthen the vicious cycle of sabotage.
Try these 5 steps first over a one-hour period, then a one-day period (every single time it happens). If it works for you, commit to a 21-day trial period. Get yourself an accountability partner and let him/her help you to stay on your path to your best life.
If you slip up, get up and go again. Be encouraged and know that the end of self-sabotage comes when YOU say “enough is enough – I’m done with this!” Such things as lasting joy, peace, prosperity, productivity and light await.
Let me know how it goes – I know if you put your heart and mind into this, it WILL work for you because it did for me. What one of us can do the other can as well. 🙂
Wishing you an abundance of peace, joy and productivity,
~♥~
