Hello,
Why “For Real?” Because we so often pay lip service to this national holiday for giving thanks.
Many of us gather with obscene quantities of food, sit to have a meal fit for a king right next to a person we refuse to pass the peas to, much less converse with and God forbid, forgive.
Seriously, if we can count them, how many grudges would be seated at the table on Thanksgiving day? For every one family how many old wounds show up to dinner?
I suggest making this Thanksgiving a real day of thanks-giving. Before the actual day, think of all the people you will be seeing with whom you have an ongoing “thing” and do some work before the big day.
What work? Process the pain if you must, face it face-to-face if you never did, honestly reflect on what it is that happened and WHY did it cause so much damage in the first place. Why is it still hanging around in your soul and spirit? What does this experience bring up for you? What was your role in the painful exchange or experience?
Who is being hurt by you holding on to it?
Without even knowing the circumstances I know for sure you are being hurt the most by not forgiving. Next are any children involved in the combined relationships. Oh and maybe, just maybe the person you are not forgiving might be affected by your lack of forgiveness. You see, they may not even think about this situation anymore…they may even think you have already forgiven them based on how well you have concealed your grudge…for the “sake of the family.”
Fact is, the people we have not forgiven are often clueless about the situation – from the original incident to the present state of things. Sadly, many people refuse to forgive thinking they are hurting the offender. Nelson Mandela thinks that’s like “taking poison and expecting another person to die.”
YOU are the one to benefit the most from forgiving another person and you are the one suffering the most from not forgiving that person.
So before giving thanks or rather, in order to give thanks with a clear and light conscience, drop the baggage that might even be blinding and binding your gratitude.
Being tight with unforgiveness binds you and blocks the blessing…reducing what you would otherwise be very grateful for having and reducing the flow of new opportunities and relationships. Oh sure we can be blessed, grateful and unforgiving simultaneously…but just imagine how much MORE at peace, joy-filled, healthy, creative, free and light you can be after deciding to drop (and then dropping) some old baggage of negativity. Just imagine it.
Unforgiveness has a way of breading negativity into your emotions. You know when you’re holding a grudge or pretending someone doesn’t exist. Indifference towards a person is not an absence of emotion – maybe just on the surface but below it all there is a reason for the so called indifference. That reason is probably connected to some unresolved issue that you gave up on resolving. But all of these unresolved issues take up space in our brains and emotions…mostly sub-consciously. What is not handled pops back up in all sorts of forms and manifestations. One major way is stress from an undefined source. Stress is a killer – of joy, of life, of gratitude.
Not forgiving and releasing the toxic baggage of anger, bitterness, indifference, shame, guilt, hurt, regret, sadness, etc, etc, compromises our ability to be grateful.
So this Thanksgiving, optimize your gratitude and forgive all, clear the passage to gratefulness so you can truly live at your highest and best.
Take these steps:
- Pray and meditate on your intentions for thanksgiving
- Reflect on and assess situation – Process the pain if you must, face it face-to-face if you never did, honestly reflect on what it is that happened and WHY did it cause so much damage in the first place
- Answer (write them) some questions: Why is it still hanging around in your soul and spirit? What does this experience bring up for you? What was your role in the painful exchange or experience? Who is being hurt by you holding on to it?
- LISTEN, read and reflect on what you wrote – the healing in a situation exists in your reflections and revelations
- Write a statement of intention, something like “This thanksgiving, I will be FREE from all negative baggage and be able and willing to give full and unconditional thanks for ALL my blessings.”
- Celebrate – find a way to symbolically and actually, if possible celebrate your decision. It’s a huge, life-changing decision to forgive. Be grateful [:-)] for it! If needed and appropriate communicate your decision to those involved
- Reflect on this process, renew your commitment daily and apply to all of your life. Spread the healing power of forgiveness. ♥~
Have a deeply joyous holiday and laugh as much as you can!
Peace & Love,
